Marriage and Manhood

1 month ago I saw my bride through my tear-filled eyes.

Our wedding did not go as we planned. Our guest list was cut down from 200+ to 22. We did not have the big venue we envisioned. We did not have a DJ. We did not have a beautiful honeymoon on an island.

It sure did not go as we planned. But it went as God planned. And because of that is was everything we could have hoped for.

We had an intimate ceremony. Thanks to technology our family and friends were able to watch us live. We had an amazing backyard reception. We had a nice big speaker and spotify. We ate great food. We road tripped back to our new apartment. Everyone was safe. We felt the Holy Spirit every minute of that day.

In this 1 month of marriage, I have learned a lot about what it means to be husband.

1 month and you know so much? I am definitely no expert, but day by day I am learning about what it means to be a husband.

  1. SACRIFCE

It’s easy to envision what sacrifice means to any man. Usually it is a picture of taking a bullet to the chest. It means pushing someone out of the way and sacrificing your life for them. In marriage however, sacrifice seems to me to be about dirty dishes. As the priest mentioned in our wedding day homily, “lifting the seat” is a large part of marriage. Sacrifice is making the morning coffee when exhausted. It is listening before speaking. To be a man, a husband, is to die to self. To let go of how one believes things should be done, listen, and respond as a team.

2. GROWTH

Never stop growing personally and together as a couple. I noticed myself not pursuing growth the first month of our marriage. To me it seemed like now that we were married, I did not need to keep striving to be a better person. This is far from the truth. I know now that the pursuit of personal growth is the spark for growth as husband and wife. In order to be the best husband, it requires a constant look inward. A constant reflection: How can I be a better man? Am I living a life of virtue? Where am I slipping up?

3. JOY

There is so much joy in being with someone that makes you a better person! In this 1 month of marriage I have witnessed the pure fun that is doing life with someone who helps you grow closer to Christ. I have learned that it is okay to take moments to just rest in the joy of matrimony.

Overall, manhood to me means love. Being a husband means living a life of love for another. It means sacrificing in small ways everyday.

It means walking with your bride towards Heaven.

I Can’t Be With You Yet

 

Dear Future Bride,                                                                                                                

You see, I have been pretty patient; at least I think I have for the past 21 years. Patience is definitely not my best quality. My Mom always told my siblings to pray for our future spouses (I think she’s been praying I find you for a while lol). I think today is a day where I really start doing that. I don’t believe that you need to know someone to pray for them. I pray that God gives me the courage to pursue you. I pray that God protects you until we meet and makes your days bright. Whatever choices you are making, I pray you are kept safe from all the evil of this world.

I wonder what color hair you will have? Blonde, brunette, black, or maybe even red? But does that stuff really matter anyway? I care more about how many adventures we will go on. I care more about how many times we will stay up until the sun rises just having deep conversations. I care more about having someone by my side to watch the stars at night.

I think my fascination with outer space all started when my Dad showed me a meteor shower when I was very young. I remember he got me up in the middle of the night. I threw my big puffy jacket on and waddled out the front door. I stood in the middle of our front yard. My eyes were glued to the sky as each meteor passed overhead.

I counted 44 meteors that night. How do I remember a number like 44 when this was 14 years ago?

No clue.

I imagine that when you see something so beautiful you cannot get it out of your head.

You will be my meteor shower.

There are many things I do not know about you.

I do not know what you will look like. I do not know what your laugh will sound like. I do not know when or where I will meet you. I do not know if I have already met you. I do not know if I will ever meet you.

There are some things I know about you already.

I know you are smart. I know you are curious. I know you care about serving the poor. I know you are adventurous. I know you are trustworthy. I know you love others. I know you put God first.

I do not know what the future holds, but I do know that I will hold you in the future.

 

With all my love,

Your Future Husband.

___________________________

 

Dear Future Husband,                                                                                                                   

            You see, it hasn’t always been easy for me in the relationship world but when I met you, it made all the tears, the heart break, the awkward breakup conversations go away. Because if I hadn’t gone through those, I wouldn’t be in the position I am with you now. I know that God has handpicked you for me and I, for you. I thank Him for giving me that courage to say yes when you asked me on that first date, just because my heart has been scarred one too many times. I pray that you continue growing into the man God has created you to be and I pray that you will continue to pursue and grow in your relationship with him for the rest of your life as I have already seen you do.

            You are handsome, funny, witty, but do those things actually matter in the grand scheme of things? No, I’m more excited about the things we will pursue together when we are married. The numerous adventures around the world, the many movies we will watch in our little home, especially snuggling on the couch after coming home from long day of work. Most importantly, I care about the support and love we will feed into each other for the rest of our lives. Something we will vow to do before we embark on this chapter of our lives.

            I remember when I was young, around the age of 12, and my parents were yelling at each other downstairs. I was frightened, scared, that something was wrong with their relationship; that it was going to end in the worst-case scenario. I emerged from my room when the fighting seemed to have ceased. I walked downstairs expecting to only see one of them but instead found my parents lovingly sitting together at the kitchen table talking and laughing. They had said their apologies and realized they were both wrong, for yelling at the other and overreacting over some little issue. It was this moment that taught me the resilient power of love.

            Sure, they may fight but one thing is for sure:

            They never and will never stop loving each other.

           

            I pray that when we too have our lows, because life isn’t perfect and neither are we, that we stay irrepressible; that we grow from the tough moments and not fall apart because when I say my vows it means that I never and will never stop loving you.

      

            There are many things I know about you.

            I know what you will look like. I know what your laugh sounds like. I know when and where I met you. I know that I am lucky to have met you and lucky to have you by my side.

            We learned that it wasn’t easy, that love gets tough sometimes but one thing is for sure. We are steady, we are here, and this love is here to stay.

            I pray for our future together. I pray for our future family. I pray for you, because sometimes I still can’t believe that God has actually put you in my life.

            With infinite years of love,

 

        Your Future Wife

 

In collaboration with @itisnosecret@wordpress.com

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